Sales and Employee Loyalty

Hello again. Back so soon? I'm flattered.

Ugh. I'm so dead. I don't know why I'm posting this at friggin midnight, but I dunno. I just felt like it.

Anyway, I confirmed that my summer job placement with the government ends on Tuesday. Everyone gets six weeks from the date they started, and, since I started on the Tuesday, July 2nd, I finish on Tuesday, August 14th. It really sucks. I'll definitely miss the hours. Straight 35 hours a week, get paid $600 every fortnight? It was awesome. But not only that. It was also the people that I'll miss. My placement supervisors and the other placement kids working at the same Shoppers as me. We're having a graduation ceremony on the 22nd. I forgot where and when. I think I'll have to call them back to get the details.

So... yeah. I told my manager at Shoppers, so I hope I get hired after that. Anyway, I'm probably going to have to go looking for a second job anyway, since my manager's only looking for a part-time evenings cashier.

Okay, so I'm thinking of getting a bike. Do you think that's a good idea? I really miss biking. I lost my last one of five years through a biking accident last year. I left it locked near the hospital while I took the bus home, but when I came back to get it the next day, it wasn't there. But I'm definitely not as fit as I used to be. But what I'm thinking is that, since the only place I need to go to is work, which is only 15 minutes on the bus, maybe it'll take me 45 minutes biking? I'll get a good workout everyday I work, and I'll save money on not having to buy a bus pass, save the winter season. But I'll probably be really tired. And sweating off your makeup before you start work isn't really a good idea. I dunno. Maybe I'll just start with taking my bike on the bus to work, and then biking back. Work my way slowly into it. I don't want to be so tired that I start making mistakes, especially at cash, which would be really bad (provided I get hired in the first place).

So a lot has gone on this year that I (sadly) failed to mention.

A lot of my friends from high school had a falling out with each other. I can say that I've been one of them. It wasn't really anything major, more like a not-talking-to-each-other-in-forever kind of falling out. I guess it was bound to happen, but I keep thinking of my naive past high school self, who thought that we'd stay friends forever (or at least for a long time). Well, I guess we're still friends, but just not in the same way. We're just not that close anymore, and I guess that was bound to happen, without school there as a way for us to conveniently hang out with each other everyday.

Oh, and I got paid yesterday! Yes, I finally got to pay off most of my credit card! Only like $200 is left. Now if only it would stay that way... Maybe I'll convince my sister to hide it somewhere so that it never sees the light of day again. Or rather, so that it's never found its way back into my hands again. I really don't know how I spent my entire limit within the span of a mere two months. Well, there was the two bus passes (cause I didn't get another job until June), my cell phone bill, my eating out all the time, especially restaurants, then those clothes that were on sale... But really, it wasn't all that much! I really can't believe it came up to that much. Maybe it was the interest. Yes, I'll blame it on the interest...

So to avoid some difficulty staying back another year with my family, I have to enroll in full-time school courses as soon as possible. Full-time is three courses or more, so all I need is three online independent study courses. I'm thinking of taking physics again. It's just that I'm not that good at it to begin with, and not doing it for an entire year will probably seriously keep me behind when I go back to university. I really don't like the thought of it, but I think I need the practice. So... I dunno. I don't want to, but I think I'll have to. Sigh.

And to top it all off, I haven't been reading much this year. Well, actually, I've been re-reading a lot. I think I've even memorized passages from some of my favourite books. But I miss the thrill of reading something new. I mean, I still get it sometimes, from when my favourite authors release new books, but, I really don't get it much anymore. Even with my favourite authors, I know their formula, and what usually happens in their books, so the full excitement for not knowing what's going to happen isn't really there. I mean, I've tried new books from my favourite genre, Urban Fantasy, but it just ends up too predictable. I've read all the good authors in that genre, but I just can't seem to move on. I think I need to pick up a really good book from a different genre, that'll get me interested in that genre. But I hate reading outside my genre. Sigh. I dunno. I really need to try something new.

And, finally, onto the topic of this post, lol. I've noticed, working at Shoppers, how I start to buy stuff on sale from there that I think is cheap simply because of the original price that the store usually has for it. I remember I used to check Walmart, Metro, and a lot of other stores before I finally decided which had the cheapest thing that I needed. But now, I just shop at Shoppers, because I work there. Does that make sense? I guess a lot of employees do that. I know my friend, when she worked in a clothing store, she used to buy most of her outfits from there. I think it's mostly because I know what's on sale and how much of a good price that is, compared to other places at the moment. So, yeah. It's weird, but I love telling people about the sales where I work, and I love buying stuff on sale there. So I guess employee loyalty is usually a side-effect of working in retail. Weird, but I guess it makes sense. Just wanted to put that out there. I know you guys are like, "Why is she telling me this?" but I just wanted to mention it. :)

So... yup. That's about it for now. See ya again soon. :D

Variety is the Spice of Life

Yay, double post! Aren't you happy? I just feel so talkative today and optimistic. It's a good day, you hear? A good day. (Some may be confused by my vague reference to A Bit of Fry and Laurie—love that show).

So, this post will touch on various things that have been happening for the past month or so, because I know everyone wants to hear why I've been so dead in the past couple of months.

One thing I wanted to talk about was kissing. Yes, kissing. Despite still being a virgin—panic attack, oh god, I'm almost twenty and still a frickin virgin oh god oh god oh god—I've kissed a lot of guys... and some girls. In spite of the ads, I'd like to say that it's really nothing to talk about. I don't really like it much... at all, actually. It's just so disgustingly moist, you know? I don't feel anything except... wetness. At first, I thought maybe I was playing for the other team, but that can't be right if I still don't feel anything, and I check out more guys than girls. In fact, when I check out a girl, it's mostly at her clothes, and jewellery. (Speaking of which, this girl on the bus had this really nice steam-punkish kinda belt. I wanted to ask her where she got it from, but she got off the bus too soon. I wonder if I go downtown, a shop might be selling something like it?) So... I really don't think I'm gay. But, when I kiss guys too, I still don't feel anything. I guess I just don't like kissing. In fact, it's kind of disgusting and... wet.

I hope I still don't feel the same way in a year, or I'm probably going to be a virgin forever. And it won't be for lack of trying, sadly.

Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way. Maybe picking up guys at 2am in nightclubs isn't the best way to do it? Maybe I need an emotional connection and all that bullshit? But that's just too much work, not too mention too much commitment, and I already have trouble balancing work, school, and my friends. I'm sorry, but a guy just isn't that important.

I'm really disappointed. I guess a part of me believed all those ads about sex and those romance novels and shit. Why can't I just be a guy? Then it wouldn't matter who I was doing it with—I'd still enjoy it. But nooo, I feel nothing, because, as a girl, I need more than that. Sigh. Fml.

And now onto life in general. So... it seems that I'm not going to university this year... because of one percent. One percent, and I couldn't get in. So now I need to improve my marks even more this year.

Man, I really wanted to go. And not really because of learning something new. More because of the guys. I mean, unless I go to a nightclub at 2am in the morning, there really is no place for me to meet guys, and those guys would probably be perverts looking for sex, no doubt. At uni, I would at least meet some normal guys that I could hook up with. Now I know why people go online. But I'm not that desperate yet.

So I guess I'll be spending another year updating marks and working. And maybe saving up to get braces and a laptop before going to university and being in more debt than ever. So I guess it's not all that bad.

Oh, did I forget to say, I'm working at Shoppers!! I love it there. My assistant managers are super-nice and everyone is just so nice and happy, and I really like it there. I got it through being placed from a government employment agency. But it ends in about a week or so (since it's only for the summer), so I'm doing my hardest to get hired directly after that. I'm coming in on my days off to get more cashier training, and my manager says that once I know everything, I'll get hired for sure, since I already know most stuff. It's awesome! And there's room for advancement and everything! And it's only a fifteen minute bus drive away from my home. I could probably walk there and get there in an hour. It'll be my first non-temporary job (the first one doesn't count since I was planning on quitting once I found something better). I really like it there, and I really hope I get hired.

Fingers crossed and everything.

How's Life?

So seriously, how's it been? I know I haven't posted in a while, but at least I keep up every couple of months (*cough* JADE).

Anyway, life's been good.

You know, the one thing I've learned through this year is that you never realize how much something is dragging you down until you let go of it. I mean, there are moments when you're doing that "something", or with that "someone" that's dragging you down and you think about just giving up and letting go, but fear holds you back. Fear of the unknown and of the future without that thing/person.

In my case, it was my previous job. It was literally a shitty job that I wouldn't foist on my worst enemy. For one thing, it was really far. I literally spent a total of four hours travel time a day for it. And another thing, it was only me there and my manager/cook a.k.a. the biggest bitch in existence.
So I had to do the job of literally four people—the server, cashier, waitress, and kitchen help/dishwasher. And you know what? The first three jobs weren't so bad, but it was the fact that I also had to help her with her work. I know this is very biased, but in my opinion, she just wasn't a good manager. I remember one time, when I was helping her slice tomatoes, she told me it was too thick, I was giving the customer too much, and it would come out of my paycheck. Then, when I started cutting them thinner, she literally took them, asked me what the hell was this, that it was too thin and "would I buy that?" And then she threw them in the trash. There really was no pleasing her. I had to put up with so many derogatory statements, her superiority complex, her snarky comments about the owner and customers, her far-too-personal questions about my private life, and... it was just too much, especially for minimum wage. There is a saying, that I now know has a huge kernel of truth behind it: "Minimum wage requires minimum work." It's so true. I mean, why do more than you need to, when there's no chance of advancement or any sort of benefit at all to yourself?

The sad fact is, managers like these are common, especially in low-end places such as fast-food restaurants, or privately owned stores/restaurants where there's only like two or three people working there like slaves because they're not making enough business to hire more people.

You know, people say that if you love doing something, you should love doing it no matter what. But I think that's pure bullshit. Our likes and dislikes are greatly influenced by the people around us, and, if we dislike someone, chances are, we'll dislike the thing we usually do around them. Working in the food industry just made me hate cooking and working with food, especially because of the bad experience I had with it. But I was afraid to let go of that job, because looking for a job is a job in and of itself, besides no pay for at least a couple of weeks until I got back on my feet.

Another thing I have to confess is that I hate applying more than I hated that job. I just hated the dressing up and looking pretty to go out and get rejected by various managers just because you don't have the specific experience. And looking like a fool when the manager comes up to you after finishing some important task and tells you that they aren't hiring at the moment, while the other employees look at you with pity in the background. I just really don't like applying, so I was doubly afraid to let go of that job. But in the end, the decision was made for me when I got laid off because I wasn't doing well (no doubt she gossiped to the owner about me just as she gossiped to me about him).

And I'm better for it. My colour came back, and I was... happier, even though I was completely broke and in debt.

God, I made this post into one long sob session, didn't I? I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be so... melancholy. I just wanted to talk about how bad it was before talking about the good. Just to put it all in perspective.

So, yeah. Thank god that's done and over with. Now I can just put that horrible job behind me. I mean, I did learn some things, so I guess I can't say it was all bad, but... it just wasn't a good fit.

There are still moments when I have flashbacks and I think it was all me—that something's wrong with me and I'm really that stupid and slow and just not good enough, but... I know better. I know myself and my capabilities, and I know I'm better than that. Even though sometimes my heart doesn't believe it, my brain always does, thank god.

And this should be a lesson for everyone out there. Don't let anyone put you down, because you are better than that. No matter what.

(Lol, now I sound like one of those feel-good ads that people roll their eyes at, don't I?) The dog days are over people!