Happy Boxing Day and all that crap

So a lot has happened that I really don't feel like getting into... So I'll just summarize the last couple months in just a few short sentences that'll leave you with invisible question marks around your head. Yeah.

Okay, so in August (specifically like the 29th or the 30th) I got a letter of admission from York. I know, late, right? I guess they just needed more failures to suck money from. And that changed my plans for work and... basically everything. I told my manager that I didn't have full availability anymore, and, as a result, he couldn't hire me—but he recommended me to another manager who did, but was farther away. So, long story short, I'm now one in 75 people studying engineering as a major in York University, while having a part-time job as a cashier at Shoppers.

And now onto the main rant of the day.

I hate being a cashier. I really do.
I was so much better as a merchandiser. I could stock and fill shelves, direct customers to certain items, put labels on products, and do plan-o-grams like a pro.
I suck as a cashier. Let me just say this once: I'm not good at multi-tasking. But, in Shoppers, traditionally, a merchandiser is a guy's job, and a cashier is a girl's job. Seriously. In all the months I've worked there, I've never seen a single girl merchandiser. They're all guys. I can understand, though. It's not sexist; it's just pragmatic. Merchandisers have to lift really heavy stuff. Like really heavy stuff. I've seen guy cashiers, though. So I guess I can't accuse Shoppers of sexism. It's just really unfair, though.
I know, from years of personal experience, I'm better at doing traditional guy stuff than girl stuff. I mean, you wouldn't know to look it. I look like your typical girl, that isn't tomboy-ish or anything—I don't like sports, I don't work out, and I wear makeup on a regular basis. Although I do have to get my sister's approval of my outfit before I walk out the door. But that's mainly because my fashion style is a bit... out there. I'm not very colour-coordinated.
But ask me to drill curtain rods for you above the kitchen window or make that new shelf you just bought, and I can do it in a flash. Ask me to make you even a piece of toast... and I'll probably burn it. I do try to cook. It's not that I'm lazy or anything. Okay, well yeah, I'm really lazy. But I do try when I get really hungry. And I can't count the number of times the smoke alarm went off because I forgot to take the bread out of the toaster. Sigh. My brother can cook better than me. I can never understand how people can tell when something's cooked! I mean, the other day, my sister declared some meatballs cooked and others not—but they all looked exactly the same!
However, most of the handy-work around my home has been done by me. I was the one who drilled the curtain rods for my room, my sister's room, my mom's room, the sitting room, and the kitchen. I was the one who installed the blinds for the kitchen, and I was the one who built both of my sister's shelves. I was the one who installed both the towel holder for the basement and the toilet paper holder for the bathroom. I was the one who rebuilt both my sister's and my mom's bed frames (after we collapsed them when moving), helped my brother with his, and built the computer desk (not to mention my own desk, and my sister's desk). I was the one who set up and lubed the treadmill, and built the ottoman for the sitting room.
Sadly, my brother has a reputation for not doing shit that doesn't benefit him directly, and disappearing when work needs to be done. Although he did paint the whole house, and built the walls for his basement room... but, again, that was for himself.
So... where was I? Oh, yeah. The thing with being a cashier at Shoppers is that you have to be good at multi-tasking, which is, traditionally, a girl's role, but one that I suck at tremendously. I'm constantly making mistakes. But there's so much you have to keep track of! You have to know the codes for different coupons (retailer's or the store's, free or a discount), how to put in lottery codes (wins for offline or online, or purchases), when it's not busy, you have to fill the candies at the front and do facing, and, most importantly, you have to count money. Which I suck at, because I have to keep track of everything else, and then I miscount, and then I'm either short or over on my till, which I don't count until the end of the day, which just builds up to being really stressful... and I just do badly at it.
I'm always either short or over for my till. It's never perfect. In fact, my manager even talked to me about it.

God, I hate minimum wage jobs, and all the multi-tasking bullshit you have to do for it. All I know for certain is, this job's not going to last long, the way it's going. And it'll be my third job that I've failed at in a year. I wish I could think that it's other people—that I just need to find my niche, but I just feel like a failure right now.
All I know is, in the future, I have to avoid cashier jobs like crazy, even though it's the only thing I have a lot of experience in. I mean, a job's a job, and I know, if I get hired anywhere else, it'll likely be for a cashier position, but I have to get out of this destructive cycle.
And I'm dreading Boxing Day, because I'll have to work, and I know my manager's going to want to talk to me again because I was short ten dollars last time.
I just wish they'd just fire me already, so I can get this anxious feeling over with.

Sales and Employee Loyalty

Hello again. Back so soon? I'm flattered.

Ugh. I'm so dead. I don't know why I'm posting this at friggin midnight, but I dunno. I just felt like it.

Anyway, I confirmed that my summer job placement with the government ends on Tuesday. Everyone gets six weeks from the date they started, and, since I started on the Tuesday, July 2nd, I finish on Tuesday, August 14th. It really sucks. I'll definitely miss the hours. Straight 35 hours a week, get paid $600 every fortnight? It was awesome. But not only that. It was also the people that I'll miss. My placement supervisors and the other placement kids working at the same Shoppers as me. We're having a graduation ceremony on the 22nd. I forgot where and when. I think I'll have to call them back to get the details.

So... yeah. I told my manager at Shoppers, so I hope I get hired after that. Anyway, I'm probably going to have to go looking for a second job anyway, since my manager's only looking for a part-time evenings cashier.

Okay, so I'm thinking of getting a bike. Do you think that's a good idea? I really miss biking. I lost my last one of five years through a biking accident last year. I left it locked near the hospital while I took the bus home, but when I came back to get it the next day, it wasn't there. But I'm definitely not as fit as I used to be. But what I'm thinking is that, since the only place I need to go to is work, which is only 15 minutes on the bus, maybe it'll take me 45 minutes biking? I'll get a good workout everyday I work, and I'll save money on not having to buy a bus pass, save the winter season. But I'll probably be really tired. And sweating off your makeup before you start work isn't really a good idea. I dunno. Maybe I'll just start with taking my bike on the bus to work, and then biking back. Work my way slowly into it. I don't want to be so tired that I start making mistakes, especially at cash, which would be really bad (provided I get hired in the first place).

So a lot has gone on this year that I (sadly) failed to mention.

A lot of my friends from high school had a falling out with each other. I can say that I've been one of them. It wasn't really anything major, more like a not-talking-to-each-other-in-forever kind of falling out. I guess it was bound to happen, but I keep thinking of my naive past high school self, who thought that we'd stay friends forever (or at least for a long time). Well, I guess we're still friends, but just not in the same way. We're just not that close anymore, and I guess that was bound to happen, without school there as a way for us to conveniently hang out with each other everyday.

Oh, and I got paid yesterday! Yes, I finally got to pay off most of my credit card! Only like $200 is left. Now if only it would stay that way... Maybe I'll convince my sister to hide it somewhere so that it never sees the light of day again. Or rather, so that it's never found its way back into my hands again. I really don't know how I spent my entire limit within the span of a mere two months. Well, there was the two bus passes (cause I didn't get another job until June), my cell phone bill, my eating out all the time, especially restaurants, then those clothes that were on sale... But really, it wasn't all that much! I really can't believe it came up to that much. Maybe it was the interest. Yes, I'll blame it on the interest...

So to avoid some difficulty staying back another year with my family, I have to enroll in full-time school courses as soon as possible. Full-time is three courses or more, so all I need is three online independent study courses. I'm thinking of taking physics again. It's just that I'm not that good at it to begin with, and not doing it for an entire year will probably seriously keep me behind when I go back to university. I really don't like the thought of it, but I think I need the practice. So... I dunno. I don't want to, but I think I'll have to. Sigh.

And to top it all off, I haven't been reading much this year. Well, actually, I've been re-reading a lot. I think I've even memorized passages from some of my favourite books. But I miss the thrill of reading something new. I mean, I still get it sometimes, from when my favourite authors release new books, but, I really don't get it much anymore. Even with my favourite authors, I know their formula, and what usually happens in their books, so the full excitement for not knowing what's going to happen isn't really there. I mean, I've tried new books from my favourite genre, Urban Fantasy, but it just ends up too predictable. I've read all the good authors in that genre, but I just can't seem to move on. I think I need to pick up a really good book from a different genre, that'll get me interested in that genre. But I hate reading outside my genre. Sigh. I dunno. I really need to try something new.

And, finally, onto the topic of this post, lol. I've noticed, working at Shoppers, how I start to buy stuff on sale from there that I think is cheap simply because of the original price that the store usually has for it. I remember I used to check Walmart, Metro, and a lot of other stores before I finally decided which had the cheapest thing that I needed. But now, I just shop at Shoppers, because I work there. Does that make sense? I guess a lot of employees do that. I know my friend, when she worked in a clothing store, she used to buy most of her outfits from there. I think it's mostly because I know what's on sale and how much of a good price that is, compared to other places at the moment. So, yeah. It's weird, but I love telling people about the sales where I work, and I love buying stuff on sale there. So I guess employee loyalty is usually a side-effect of working in retail. Weird, but I guess it makes sense. Just wanted to put that out there. I know you guys are like, "Why is she telling me this?" but I just wanted to mention it. :)

So... yup. That's about it for now. See ya again soon. :D

Variety is the Spice of Life

Yay, double post! Aren't you happy? I just feel so talkative today and optimistic. It's a good day, you hear? A good day. (Some may be confused by my vague reference to A Bit of Fry and Laurie—love that show).

So, this post will touch on various things that have been happening for the past month or so, because I know everyone wants to hear why I've been so dead in the past couple of months.

One thing I wanted to talk about was kissing. Yes, kissing. Despite still being a virgin—panic attack, oh god, I'm almost twenty and still a frickin virgin oh god oh god oh god—I've kissed a lot of guys... and some girls. In spite of the ads, I'd like to say that it's really nothing to talk about. I don't really like it much... at all, actually. It's just so disgustingly moist, you know? I don't feel anything except... wetness. At first, I thought maybe I was playing for the other team, but that can't be right if I still don't feel anything, and I check out more guys than girls. In fact, when I check out a girl, it's mostly at her clothes, and jewellery. (Speaking of which, this girl on the bus had this really nice steam-punkish kinda belt. I wanted to ask her where she got it from, but she got off the bus too soon. I wonder if I go downtown, a shop might be selling something like it?) So... I really don't think I'm gay. But, when I kiss guys too, I still don't feel anything. I guess I just don't like kissing. In fact, it's kind of disgusting and... wet.

I hope I still don't feel the same way in a year, or I'm probably going to be a virgin forever. And it won't be for lack of trying, sadly.

Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way. Maybe picking up guys at 2am in nightclubs isn't the best way to do it? Maybe I need an emotional connection and all that bullshit? But that's just too much work, not too mention too much commitment, and I already have trouble balancing work, school, and my friends. I'm sorry, but a guy just isn't that important.

I'm really disappointed. I guess a part of me believed all those ads about sex and those romance novels and shit. Why can't I just be a guy? Then it wouldn't matter who I was doing it with—I'd still enjoy it. But nooo, I feel nothing, because, as a girl, I need more than that. Sigh. Fml.

And now onto life in general. So... it seems that I'm not going to university this year... because of one percent. One percent, and I couldn't get in. So now I need to improve my marks even more this year.

Man, I really wanted to go. And not really because of learning something new. More because of the guys. I mean, unless I go to a nightclub at 2am in the morning, there really is no place for me to meet guys, and those guys would probably be perverts looking for sex, no doubt. At uni, I would at least meet some normal guys that I could hook up with. Now I know why people go online. But I'm not that desperate yet.

So I guess I'll be spending another year updating marks and working. And maybe saving up to get braces and a laptop before going to university and being in more debt than ever. So I guess it's not all that bad.

Oh, did I forget to say, I'm working at Shoppers!! I love it there. My assistant managers are super-nice and everyone is just so nice and happy, and I really like it there. I got it through being placed from a government employment agency. But it ends in about a week or so (since it's only for the summer), so I'm doing my hardest to get hired directly after that. I'm coming in on my days off to get more cashier training, and my manager says that once I know everything, I'll get hired for sure, since I already know most stuff. It's awesome! And there's room for advancement and everything! And it's only a fifteen minute bus drive away from my home. I could probably walk there and get there in an hour. It'll be my first non-temporary job (the first one doesn't count since I was planning on quitting once I found something better). I really like it there, and I really hope I get hired.

Fingers crossed and everything.

How's Life?

So seriously, how's it been? I know I haven't posted in a while, but at least I keep up every couple of months (*cough* JADE).

Anyway, life's been good.

You know, the one thing I've learned through this year is that you never realize how much something is dragging you down until you let go of it. I mean, there are moments when you're doing that "something", or with that "someone" that's dragging you down and you think about just giving up and letting go, but fear holds you back. Fear of the unknown and of the future without that thing/person.

In my case, it was my previous job. It was literally a shitty job that I wouldn't foist on my worst enemy. For one thing, it was really far. I literally spent a total of four hours travel time a day for it. And another thing, it was only me there and my manager/cook a.k.a. the biggest bitch in existence.
So I had to do the job of literally four people—the server, cashier, waitress, and kitchen help/dishwasher. And you know what? The first three jobs weren't so bad, but it was the fact that I also had to help her with her work. I know this is very biased, but in my opinion, she just wasn't a good manager. I remember one time, when I was helping her slice tomatoes, she told me it was too thick, I was giving the customer too much, and it would come out of my paycheck. Then, when I started cutting them thinner, she literally took them, asked me what the hell was this, that it was too thin and "would I buy that?" And then she threw them in the trash. There really was no pleasing her. I had to put up with so many derogatory statements, her superiority complex, her snarky comments about the owner and customers, her far-too-personal questions about my private life, and... it was just too much, especially for minimum wage. There is a saying, that I now know has a huge kernel of truth behind it: "Minimum wage requires minimum work." It's so true. I mean, why do more than you need to, when there's no chance of advancement or any sort of benefit at all to yourself?

The sad fact is, managers like these are common, especially in low-end places such as fast-food restaurants, or privately owned stores/restaurants where there's only like two or three people working there like slaves because they're not making enough business to hire more people.

You know, people say that if you love doing something, you should love doing it no matter what. But I think that's pure bullshit. Our likes and dislikes are greatly influenced by the people around us, and, if we dislike someone, chances are, we'll dislike the thing we usually do around them. Working in the food industry just made me hate cooking and working with food, especially because of the bad experience I had with it. But I was afraid to let go of that job, because looking for a job is a job in and of itself, besides no pay for at least a couple of weeks until I got back on my feet.

Another thing I have to confess is that I hate applying more than I hated that job. I just hated the dressing up and looking pretty to go out and get rejected by various managers just because you don't have the specific experience. And looking like a fool when the manager comes up to you after finishing some important task and tells you that they aren't hiring at the moment, while the other employees look at you with pity in the background. I just really don't like applying, so I was doubly afraid to let go of that job. But in the end, the decision was made for me when I got laid off because I wasn't doing well (no doubt she gossiped to the owner about me just as she gossiped to me about him).

And I'm better for it. My colour came back, and I was... happier, even though I was completely broke and in debt.

God, I made this post into one long sob session, didn't I? I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be so... melancholy. I just wanted to talk about how bad it was before talking about the good. Just to put it all in perspective.

So, yeah. Thank god that's done and over with. Now I can just put that horrible job behind me. I mean, I did learn some things, so I guess I can't say it was all bad, but... it just wasn't a good fit.

There are still moments when I have flashbacks and I think it was all me—that something's wrong with me and I'm really that stupid and slow and just not good enough, but... I know better. I know myself and my capabilities, and I know I'm better than that. Even though sometimes my heart doesn't believe it, my brain always does, thank god.

And this should be a lesson for everyone out there. Don't let anyone put you down, because you are better than that. No matter what.

(Lol, now I sound like one of those feel-good ads that people roll their eyes at, don't I?) The dog days are over people!

Wherein Our Heroine Gets In Over Her Head

You know, over the past few months, one thing I've noticed about myself is that I have quite a passion for self-destruction. No matter how many times I'm forgiven, how many chances I've been given, I will inevitably screw it up in the end. And not accidentally. Oh no, that would absolve me of at least part of the blame (according to my twisted mind). No, these mistakes are quite deliberate. So can they actually be called mistakes? Ah, well, it doesn't really matter in the long run. What matters is that I've screwed up my life. Again.
It seems that I'm just not happy unless I'm avoiding something so important that it just becomes worse for me in the end, and jeopardizes my future. I wonder if I would be happier if I were more ordinary, and actually able to do hard work without the itch building beneath the surface, until I need to avoid it, just this once so the itch'll go away, at least for a little bit. And then it starts again, and again, the time intervals in between becoming shorter and shorter. Or else I start resenting it, more and more, until I hate the sight of it, and dread it the day before. And therein lies my inability to commit to anything. It's the same with people. I can't see the same people, day after day, until I start feeling suffocated, and there's this huge need to just leave and avoid. At least until the feeling starts going away after a while.
Is it just that I'm spoiled, and lazy? Probably. Undoubtedly. After all, I was raised in the western world, part of the generation of when the internet first came out, and was complete chaos. There were no restrictions, no firewalls, no copyrights, no rules. People could do anything, say anything. Perhaps that's why my generation is more wary and critical of the media than any other before us. For parents, it was doubly hard, as anything they tried to avoid telling their child, he/she could simply learn it over the internet. And it gave them the ability to refute their parent's arguments and traditional viewpoints on many subjects. I doubt any other generation will have as much freedom over the internet as ours ever had. Soon, chaos has to become order, and it's happening now, just two decades later, little by little.
Although, to have a passion for self-destruction, I must actually be passionate about it in the first place. But I'm just apathetic about everything. I really can't bring myself to care, about anything. I decide to take the easy route in the present, which actually makes it harder for me in the future.
I try, I guess. I mean, I have more responsibilities now. I have a job, and once I got a job, I was expected to pay for everything (save groceries and rent) myself. I was expected to now have the money to take care of myself (pay for my braces, just as my brother did when he got a job, buy my laptop, facial creams, etc.), all the while keeping up with nightschool.
But, instead, I got laid off. But I'm not sad over that, really. In fact, I was incredibly miserable in that job. It was simply too far and too much work, all for minimum wage. But I settled. And that's what you get when you take the easy route and settle. You become miserable and end up working too hard for minimum benefits. But a job like that takes a toll on you. And you start to wonder if it isn't just yourself. If you're really just that stupid, that you just can't get anything right. And even me, who really couldn't care less, was starting to feel inferior.
But no matter. It's done and over with, and if it happens again, I'll just quit and find another job that's easier to deal with. After all, it's just a job, not a career. I don't need to be thinking about what I need to do during my time off. That's not a job.
But my education's suffering now as well, through no fault other than mine. Nightschool is not as lax in attendance as day school is, and, in the beginning, I thought that would be a good thing. The "skip more than three days and you're out" rule would help curb my skipping habit, I thought.
Well, apparently not. This is the fifth day I've skipped my physics class. Before, I was hovering just over the edge, with 3 days absent. Then came this week, which I skipped two days in a row. I have no idea how my teacher will receive me, and... I just couldn't really care.
So here I am, with no job, in debt (oh, did I forget to mention my liberal use of my credit card, especially when I got laid off?), and possibly kicked out of school.
I guess I can fix it. With a doctor's note, and applying for a new job. That is, if I actually care enough to fix it.

Weird Shit Part 3 + Hot Teachers

Okay, so Jade and I decided to do a double post about the same topic (to compare writing styles and shit). We discussed how she's a far better blogger than I could ever be, simply because I suck at description. I am very literal in my writing, so I can't write analogies for shit. It's probably because of my math/physics background. And also because, although I read a lot, I don't write that much, and description is just fucking difficult. I mean, how many times can one describe how green the fucking grass is?

Anyway, Last night, we were doing our usual thing, staying out late at a restaurant and just talking (cause we're I'm not legally old enough to go clubbing yet). But I love our late-night talks, that are usually about everything and nothing. None of us can wake up early enough to actually *gasp* meet at a respectable time, like, say around 4 in the afternoon, so, instead we wake up at that time, and meet around 9 or 10. Thank God Pizza Pizza's open until 2am.
Anyway, so while we were snarfing down our halves of the X-large pizza (we're teenagers—we get hungry) and talking about life in general, these guys walk in. Queen of the oblivious that I am, I don't even notice one of the guys talking to us until Jade starts clearing her throat and pointing behind me, repeatedly saying my name.
So I turn around and here is this guy giving us this full-on leer. Like seriously? Don't you have somewhere else to be? And then he starts talking. I can't really remember what he said (I have a horrible memory, especially about things I don't like or find interesting—it's as if my brain deliberately tries to block it out), but I think it was something like, "Yo, beautiful girls, nigga. What you doin' here, just chill?" And I was just thinking, what the fuck was he saying?
One other guy tried to talk to us as well, while the other two (who looked a little more sober) just turned red with embarrassment for their friend. But he gave up eventually as well.
But the initial guy just wouldn't let go. He kept asking us where we were from, what university we were going to, and just kept talking about how he was studying Mechanical Engineering at York. Engineering? This idiot? Well, I can believe he got in, but I won't believe that he's actually passing, or even showing up to class. I asked him about how he was going to pay off the tuition if he failed. And he said he didn't have to, because it was a loan. Uh, correct my understanding, but doesn't having a loan mean you have to pay it off? And he also kept talking about his bling. Yes, his bling. "Dis is my bling, nigga!" He would say, pointing to this really tacky and ostentatious gold ring and necklace that he was wearing.
And it went on like that for the entire night (there was this pause though, when they went out to smoke more weed). The cashier at the Pizza Pizza was really annoyed by their noisiness, and looked at us with pity for having to talk to the loser. I was honestly so annoyed that I eventually gave monosyllabic answers and Jade was left having to deal with him. He had this really heavy african accent, crooked yellow teeth, hair covering his eyes, and just overall looked like a hobo. And he was hitting on us.
Why me? Why can't some hot, articulate, intelligent guy actually hit on us? Why does it have to be these losers? Now I understand why the pretty girls in some movies are bitches. It really gets annoying when you have to deal with this type of shit all the time.
And, literally, it happens all the time. Maybe it's because of the time we go out? Like, another time at another Pizza Pizza, we were sitting there, talking and laughing, and this guy came up to us and said, "I don't mean to sound creepy, but I just wanted to let you know that my friend thinks you're very beautiful." He was pretty nice, but it was still creepy, since it was around 2am, so when they offered us a ride home when we were freezing our asses off at the bus stop, we (well, Jade, really, since I've never minded car rides with strangers—even though my friends do, for some reason) had to refuse. Now, thinking about last night, I would definitely prefer those guys to the drunk pothead that interrupted our conversation and just wouldn't leave. And then, another time, when we were walking randomly and talking, these guys felt the need to pull over, and ask where we were from. I'm sorry, but what gives you the right to talk to me? Especially when you look like you're friggin' forty years old?
I think I come off a little cold, because they always end up talking to Jade in the end, who has to politely give them the brush off.
I mean, I wouldn't mind guys hitting on me, if they were actually hot, and possessed some sort of intelligent personality. But nooo, it has to either be hobos, or guys who look like they're old enough to be my father.

Okay, rant over. I'm done with that shit, and I don't want to have to think about it again.

Anyway, night school started for me, so now I'm incredibly busy four days a week. I have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6am to get to work (since it takes two hours to get there), finish at 2pm, and go straight to the area where my nightschool is, so I have two hours to spare in which I do my homework (well, really, I just waste time, but I'll get into the habit of doing it... eventually), and then go straight to class, which starts at 6:30, and ends at 9:30. So I come home around ten, play around on the computer for like thirty minutes, take off my makeup, and then drop dead on my bed. And that's my schedule from Monday to Thursday.
I really fucking hate Mondays now.
But I just have to survive until June, then I'm done with nightschool, and I'm quitting that job, and working for ♪ Wonderland ♪. Oh yeah, it's going to be awesome.
But, yeah, I just started nightschool, and, let me tell you, my Calculus and Vectors teacher is grade-A hot. I think he's a university student, because he looks really young, but ohmygawd, I just couldn't stop staring at him. And I seriously don't know what's wrong with me, because this infatuation feeling is really getting annoying. I'm definitely going to ace all my tests and do my homework—just so he notices me. LOL, and if that's not creepy, I don't know what is. I feel so bipolar whenever I'm in that class. I think the combination of teenage hormones and still being a fricking virgin (lemme tell you, we have slim pickings) is finally getting to me. The saying that no one is hornier than a virgin is proving to be true.
And on another note, all my nightschool teachers are actually competent. They're not math teachers who have to teach physics (I've had a teacher like that before, and he just copied the textbook for everything—because no matter what anyone says, physics is a lot harder and different than math), or Phys-Ed teachers that have to teach bio (easiest marks evaar).
That means I'm either going to fail miserably, or, God forbid, actually learn something, and have to do my homework. Man, I wish June would just come already.

Oh Shite

I'm starting night school Calculus and night school Physics in February. And I still haven't finished my Independent online course.

I am so screwed.

So my schedule from February to June will be:

1. Get up at 6,
2. Go to work,
3. Finish at 2,
4. Go straight to my night school location,
5. Finish the homework in the two hours I have to spare,
6. Go to night school,
7. Finish at 10 pm,
8. Go home and sleep.
9. Rinse and repeat.

And, the funny thing is, I have Fridays and the weekend off for both work and night school. So four out of seven days a week, it'll be really hectic. And the three rest days will need to be used for my Independent learning course.
I'll either have an excellent established work ethic in June, or I'll crash and burn. And, considering my work history, I don't want to think about which is more likely.

But, hey, if I somehow manage to do well this semester, I'll probably be accepted at Waterloo for Chemical Engineering. And then I'll be able to move and live on campus, and party like crazy. While studying, of course.

On another topic, my birthday (my real one, not my legal one) is coming up soon. Yeah, you can tell from all the Valentine's Day displays shops and restaurants are putting up.
I'm so angry. I'll be nineteen in age, but not legally, so I still won't be able to go clubbing until November! I asked my mom if her relatives in our home country can send my real birth certificate here, but apparently everyone over there is just in it for themselves, and they don't do favours for nothing. The only thing I can do now is get a good fake ID, because there's no way in hell that I'm waiting another seven months until I'm able to go out, drink alcohol legally, and have fun with my friends (all the while being safe, of course).

So all I need to do is finish my Independent Learning course as soon as possible, get at least 90% on all my night school courses, not get fired from my day job, and figure out a way to get the most legit-looking fake ID. Easy-peasy.

Interviews Are Bullshit

The title says it all. Seriously.

Okay, so what happened was that about two weeks ago, I was applying for jobs on Kijiji (the fastest online method—at least you're not waiting two weeks wondering if they're going to call you), and I got a call right away after I applied to this food service ad (since I have experience from wonderland). So I answered and went to the interview the day after.
Honestly, I just bullshitted the entire thing. The manager was like, "So tell me about yourself." And I just said, "Well, I love to cook bullshit and experiment, and talking to people bullshit." And that's how the entire interview went. It was seriously so easy and I got the job right afterwords.
So that's the lesson for today, folks. Just exaggerate a bit (don't outright lie about your experience) while staying relevant to the position, and you'll get hired.
And, honestly, having a job is like the best thing EVAAARR. Well, not the actual job part of it, but the payday. I recently got around $200 for last week's work (yeah, I get paid weekly—isn't that awesome?), and I bought a metropass for next month. My very own first metropass! Finally, I don't have to borrow my brother's metropass, or ask my mom for tokens again! I also went out to an amazing restaurant that was cheap as shit, had a great atmosphere, was open 24 hours, and they filled the plate like crazy. Thank you, dine.to, for the recommendation. Then the next day, I just went to La Senza for their clearance sale and got some new bras. Man, I LOVE not having to rely on my mom to give me money, or go out shopping with her.
The independance, and confidence a job can give you is just awesome. Before working at Wonderland, I really wouldn't have been able to go up to a complete stranger and start up a conversation. But now I can, and it's really easy. I can now understand why most employers are hesitant to hire someone who's never had a job before, even if they're really qualified for it with volunteer experience and all that jazz.
The job part, though, that's a whole different topic. I've only been working for around two weeks (9-2, four days a week), so I'm still getting the hang of everything. And it's seriously too much work for minimum wage. They expect me to be a waitress, kitchen helper, cook helper, and cashier, all at once. The only other person there other than the manager (who usually never even shows up) is the cook, and I have to listen to her blather on and on about how she was doing it all herself before I came, and how I really should step up my game. Seriously? I'm doing the best I can, for minimum wage, so you can shove it.
Whatever. I don't care. I'm leaving in June (around the same time she is, actually—she's taking culinary night school and is going to work in a real restaurant soon), and working for Wonderland full-time in the summer. I hear they give you hours like crazy, and it's really easy. There's only three menu items in each booth that you need to serve. And everyone who works there is really young, since it's a seasonal job. So everyone's around my age (my supervisor's actually really hot, and he's sooo nice).
I can't wait to go back to Wonderland, and leave this crappy cafeteria. And then, after Wonderland, I think I'll move up and become a waitress. I don't know why people think being a waitress is like earning minimum wage. I would love to be one. I could meet hot guys, and be able to make so many tips, it'll be awesome.